Monday, April 22, 2024

Tuesdays with Morrie

 Mitch Albom released "Tuesdays with Morrie" in 2002.

I read it years ago, but I am planning to read it again.

Here is a brief summary of the book:

"Maybe it was a grandparent, or a teacher, or a colleague. Someone older, patient and wise, who understood you when you were young and searching, helped you see the world as a more profound place, gave you sound advice to help you make your way through it.
 
For Mitch Albom, that person was his college professor Morrie Schwartz.

Maybe, like Mitch, you lost track of this mentor as you made your way, and the insights faded, and the world seemed colder. Wouldn’t you like to see that person again, ask the bigger questions that still haunt you, and receive wisdom for your busy life today the way you once did when you were younger?

Mitch Albom had that second chance. He rediscovered Morrie in the last months of the older man’s life. Knowing he was dying, Morrie visited with Mitch in his study every Tuesday, just as they used to back in college. Their rekindled relationship turned into one final “class”: lessons in how to live. “The truth is, Mitch,” he said, “once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”

I thought of this book recently after some friends of ours attended a seminar about making end of life choices, even though both of them are fairly young.


Since death is unavoidable , the basic premise of the course is to make preparations for your next phase in life, and not avoid making those final plans.

On one extreme, you can fight the inevitable, which is what prompted Dylan Thomas to write "Rage" when his father was dying.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,   
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

The other option, of course, is simply to make plans well in advance of your departure.

Years ago, I worked with a woman who had set up a trust with her husband. Both had been married before, and had multiple children, so tying up the loose ends was important to them.

A few years later, their foresight was rewarded when her husband passed away suddenly. At the time of his death, he was in his early 60's.

Even before that happened, Sharon and I set up trusts of our own, and it came about in 1997, more than 25 years ago.

In addition to the trust, I also typed up a letter titled "what to do if I get run over by a beer truck", and I put it in the folder that has my life insurance information. 




What NOT to do was what one of my relatives did. To protect her privacy, I will simply call her Mississippi.

She was born in the early years of the 20th century. Like her siblings, Mississippi lived through the Depression, which forced her to save money. 

She never married, and worked until she was in her 80's, because she was terrified of  running out of money.

She also did not trust the stock market because she was alive in October of 1929, so the majority of her money was in passbook savings. At the time of her death, she had $400,000 saved, even though she had purchased savings bonds for her nieces and nephews over the years.

When she died, she was intestate, which meant that she died without a will. Her estate eventually was settled, but it was in probate, a process that is long and costly.

Years ago, Sharon and I had decided that we have absolutely no interest in having a "traditional " funeral. Instead, we have settle on cremation, which I have written about a few times before:




When I lived in China, I learned that many Chinese people do not like to discuss death, in part because the words for "4: and "death" are similar. For that reason, many buildings in China do not have a 4th floor.

Oddly enough, though, there IS something called "tomb sweeping day", and it is a national holiday called Qingming.

Qingming Festival is when Chinese people traditionally visit ancestral tombs to sweep them. This tradition has been legislated by the Emperors who built majestic imperial tombstones for every dynasty. For thousands of years, the Chinese imperials, nobilitypeasantry, and merchants alike have gathered together to remember the lives of the departed, to visit their tombstones to perform Confucian filial piety by tomb sweeping, to visit burial grounds, graveyards or in modern urban cities, the city columbaria, to perform groundskeeping and maintenance and to commit to pray for their ancestors in the uniquely Chinese concept of the afterlife and to offer remembrances of their ancestors to living blood relatives, their kith and kin. In some places, people believe that sweeping the tomb is only allowed during this festival, as they believe the dead will get disturbed if the sweeping is done on other days.

The young and old alike kneel to offer prayers before tombstones of the ancestors, offer the burning of joss in both the forms of incense sticks (joss-sticks) and silver-leafed paper (joss paper), sweep the tombs and offer food in memory of the ancestors. Depending on the religion of the observers, some pray to a higher deity to honor their ancestors, while others may pray directly to the ancestral spirits.

People who live far away and can't travel to their ancestors' tombs may make a sacrifice from a distance



Mitch Albom also wrote a novel titled "The Little Liar", which mentioned that Jewish people in parts of the world also clean tombstones of their departed relatives.





Hispanics celebrate "dia de los mortes", which I have also written about:



Mitch had the good fortune to take with his mentor in his mentors final days, so here is an interesting question:

How would you like to hear the voice of a deceased relative after they are gone?

Not surprisingly, you can.

When my parents were in their 80's, my sister interviewed them, and put the interviews on a cassette type. Over time, my copy disappeared, but she still has her copy buried someplace in her garage - but I would love to hear them again. 

Also surprising is the fact that there IS life after death.

Most traditional religions believe in an afterlife - bur that is not what I am talking about.

I'm talking about "near death experiences", and the links below to into more detail:



Near death experiences are, almost by definition, short-lived, but reincarceration can last a life time or two.


For more information, refer to "I'm coming back as a cat" at the link above.

Your final decisions on your end of life choices are up to you, but exploring your options is simply a prudent thing to do. 


























Tuesday, April 9, 2024

We'll always have Paris


The 1942 movie “Casablanca” is generally considered to be one of the best films of all time.

https://www.imdb.com/list/ls055592025/

At the close of the movie, just before Humphrey Bogart says “here’s looking at you, kid”, she asks him “what about us?” 

His response was “we’ll always have Paris”

 Watch the closing scene below:

 Here'sLooking At You, Kid - Casablanca (5/6) Movie CLIP (1942) HD (youtube.com)

 France has long been the most popular tourist definition in the world, with 79 million arrivals a year, and the #1 attraction in France is the Eiffel tower.

https://www.planetware.com/world/top-rated-tourist-attractions-in-the-world-cam-1-40.htm

“I love Paris” was written by Cole Porter in 1953, and Ella Fitzgerald released her version of the song in 1956. Listen to it here:

Ella Fitzgerald - I love Paris (youtube.com)

The opening line is “I love Paris in the springtime”, a sign that the most magical time to be in Paris is in the springtime.

When Gwyneth Paltrow was 15, she spent a year as an exchange student in Spain, where she became fluent in Spanish. Due to the fact that her family frequently traveled to France throughout her childhood, she also became fluent in French.

On one of those trips, her father took her to the Eiffel Tower because he wanted her to see Paris for the fist time with a man who would always love her.

 I’m of the opinion that travel abroad is a vital part of being a well rounded and open-minded person. I’ve journeyed to Canada, Ireland, and China, but our daughter Kelly puts me to shame.

I took a year of German in high school. When Kelly got to high school, she took THREE years of German. At the end of her junior year, she and 9 classmates spent  a couple of weeks in Germany, which was an amazing experience. Since them, she has been in roughly in 15 different countries, including the time she was in 5 different counties on the same day.

One of the teachers at a local high school will be the chaperone for a trip to Germany in June, but next year’s trip will be in France.

 All of us have had some memorable birthdays in our lifetime.

When I turned 40, I was the guest of honor in front of over 100 guests at our house. The highlight of the event was a belly dancer that my wife hired.

When Sharon turned 40, I rented the KC hall in Still water, and we had about 100 guests in attendance.

 When my sister Mary turned 30, her husband Michael rented a Rolls Royce convertible, and they drove to the Polo Lounge in the Beverly Hills hotel in Los Angeles to celebrate.

Her 74th birthday, though, will be extra special, because she will be spending at least part of the week in Paris, which should immediately bring Ella Fitzgerald to mind again.

Enjoy the trip, Mary – and thanks for the memories,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday, March 31, 2024

thoughts on Easter Sunday

 


 

Today is Easter Sunday, but we are not planning to go to church, and there are also a LOT of Americans who will not be in church today either.

 According to Gallup, 31% of our population never goes to church at all. Not surprisingly, 79% of the atheists and agnostics never go to church, but that is also true of a loosely organized group called “other”. Mormons are the MOST likely to go to church.

https://news.gallup.com/poll/642548/church-attendance-declined-religious-groups.aspx

The next most religious group is Protectants. 30% of them go to church on a weekly basis.         

For Catholics, weekly mass attendance is mandatory, but only 23% of them go to mass every week. 18% of Catholics NEVER go to church. Failure to attend mass is considered to be a mortal sin, but here is where it gets complicated.

What IS a mortal sin?

Catholics are not supposed to receive communion if they are in a state of mortal sin, but it you read the article below, you will realize that very few Catholics should receive communion:

https://tohell-andback.blogspot.com/2019/11/so-what-is-mortal-sin.html

Although church attendance in general has declined 12% in the last 20 years, the attendance in Catholics has seen the largest drop-off.

Among religious groups, Catholics show one of the larger drops in attendance, from 45% to 33%, while there are slightly smaller decreases among Orthodox (nine percentage points) and Hindu followers (eight points). There is also a 24-point decline for “other” religious groups, generally those not large enough to report separately as their own group or those that are difficult to categorize based on respondents’ answers.

In contrast to most religious groups, Muslim and Jewish Americans have shown slight increases in religious service attendance over the past two decades.

I should be quick to point out that I am not criticizing people who go to church on Easter, since its message or rebirth should be a comfort to all of us.

Few people, of course, know that Easter is based on a pagan holiday, which is also true of Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and Halloween.

https://tohell-andback.blogspot.com/2014/04/do-you-believe-in-easter-bunny.html

I have previously written about artificial intelligence, so this morning I asked AI to paint me a picture of a family going to church on Easter, and this is what I got.

 



 

Obviously, Easter IS a special day, so feel free to celebrate it however you want. After all, He is risen!

 

 

 


Saturday, March 23, 2024

The Irish storytelling tradition

 

Ever since I was in grade school, I have always enjoyed telling stories. When I was in 8th grade, I won a prize in the Hibernian essay contest.

Although many of my relatives have “the gift of gab”, the champion story teller was my uncle Clem. Although he kept busy running his dairy farm, he found plenty of time to put down his thoughts in dozens of notebooks, and the collection in now in the possession of a few of my cousins.

I was wondering this morning exactly WHY the Irish seem to be such good storytellers, and found the article below on line:

https://oldmooresalmanac.com/irish-storytelling-tradition-a-delicate-revival/




Although I will add a few comments at the end I decided to simply copy the story nearly verbatim:

“Storytelling is a unique part of Irish culture and heritage. Rich and vivid tales of Celtic warriors and legendary battles, along with folk tales detailing the lives of ordinary people, were passed on orally for centuries. Although the seanchaí of old no longer entertain the towns and villages of Ireland, the tradition of storytelling is undergoing something of a delicate revival in Ireland.”

 

By Elaine Kavanagh

“A couple of years ago I brought my young son to a story-telling event at our local library. My curiosity about the content of the stories and their appeal to the audience was well rewarded: storyteller Niall de Burca told wonderfully tall tales and, in the spirit of the best entertainers, caught the entire audience in his spell. There were plenty of laughing children and smiling adults. It struck me that perhaps the art of storytelling is not dead. Of course, I was aware of Ireland’s rich storytelling tradition but assumed it had been relegated to the history books.

 

Not so, according to Nuala Hayes from Storytellers of Ireland, a voluntary organization which has been promoting the practice and preservation of oral storytelling since its inception in 2003. In fact, she says, the tradition has been undergoing “a delicate and organic revival” for the past twenty-five years.

Nuala compares the Irish storytelling tradition as it currently stands to “an underground stream that’s still alive and every now and then bubbles up to the surface.”  Interestingly, this revival is not just an Irish phenomenon. Storytelling has been growing again internationally since the end of the twentieth century. Nuala notes that while technology has been a great aid to its growth, this in itself didn’t spark the revival. It began before the advent of the internet.

The Revival

So, what were the sparks of this revival? According to Nuala, different generations discover storytelling as if for the first time, and she mentions the cultural revival in Ireland at the turn of the twentieth century as an example. Nuala feels that storytelling fulfils a basic human need to understand our lives through stories rather than economics or facts. And, she says, perhaps at the birth of the age of technology, people began to feel a need to gather in groups and explore stories once again.

The rebirth of Irish storytelling can be traced back to the late 1980s and early 1990s. One of its pioneers was Liz Weir, an accomplished storyteller and Belfast librarian from Co. Antrim. Influenced by British librarians who had been organizing storytelling events for children during the 1970s, Liz set up a storytelling group in the Linenhall Library in Belfast in 1985.

Despite the sectarian issues in Northern Ireland at the time, the Belfast Yarnspinners brought people from both sides of the community together to tell stories and find a means of connection rather than division. With Liz’s encouragement, many in the group began to share their stories and a new community of storytellers was born.

It was the early 1990s when Nuala first became interested in the storytelling tradition. With a background in theatre, she was working along with other artists at a series of workshops in France. A group of French storytellers in the workshop next door came to her attention because they seemed to be having great craic. Every now and then, Nuala would hear one of them introduce an Irish story. This gave her pause for thought – would there be an audience for storytelling in Dublin?

A New Irish Audience

Nuala and Ellen Cranitch, a flautist and composer who now works for Lyric FM, decided to find out. They booked Mother Redcaps, a Dublin pub known for its traditional music. Four nights of music and stories were organized, to take place in November 1991. Eamon Kelly, John Campbell, Len Graham, Matt Cranitch, Máire Breatnach and Frank Harte were among the many storytellers, singers and musicians who took part.

The event was a very well received. Each night, a packed house chatted during the musical pieces but listened with great interest to the stories. The event’s biggest achievement, according to Nuala, was that it “shook up an audience” for storytelling in Dublin. Scéalta Shamhna, as it became known, grew over a ten-year period into a month-long celebration of storytelling in venues throughout Dublin.

Gradually, yarnspinning groups began to establish themselves around the country – north and south of the border – with the help and encouragement of Liz Weir. Nuala began to explore the old legends and started storytelling herself. She especially liked the less well-known stories, the ones we didn’t learn in school. Nuala thinks we’re very fortunate that the Irish monks recorded a wealth of stories which might otherwise have been lost. This means we have a rich store of stories to draw from. Not only that, we also have a unique tradition because Irish stories tend not to be moralistic, but rather to veer into the subversive with fantastic leaps of imagination.

Storytelling Festivals

In 1994 the first Cape Clear International Storytelling Festival was held, and it has grown slowly and organically into one of the most renowned storytelling festivals in the world. Each year at the end of August, a program of international and homegrown storytellers gather on the island off the coast of West Cork to entertain festival goers. There are also workshops, story swapping sessions, storytelling boat trips and folklore walks.

 

In fact, there are now a wealth of storytelling festivals and events taking place around the country. There’s a good chance you’ll find one close to your corner of Ireland at some point during the year. There’s the Sneem Storytelling Festival in Kerry, the Glens Storytelling Festival in Antrim and the Slieve Bloom storytelling festival in Tipperary to name a few. In Bray, Co Wicklow, the Yarn Storytelling Festival takes place for a week each November. The intention with the Bray festival is to get storytelling out of the arts center and into community. With that in mind, it includes lots of storytelling and musical events at various locations in the town, with all ages catered for.

There are also many one-off events and storytelling groups. You can find details of the festivals, events and local groups on the Storytellers of Ireland’s website. You’ll also find a directory of storytellers available for bookings, as well as interviews and articles related to storytelling. Storytellers of Ireland is not just for storytellers, it is open to anyone interested in the art of telling stories. If you’re interested in storytelling they want to hear from you.

Tell Your Own Story

So it seems clear that the art of storytelling is within our reach once more. I asked Nuala how we can bring it into our lives. Her advice was simple – start telling stories! She suggests that parents tell stories to their children, or that community groups organize dedicated times to share stories orally.

Alternatively, you can look up the Storytellers of Ireland and find a local group near you. You can even listen to storytellers online – the marvelous Eamon Kelly, for instance can be found on YouTube. According to Nuala listening doesn’t have quite the same magic as the real thing. That said, it could be a good starting point.

Nuala’s passion for storytelling is inspiring. I’m left with the impression that the Irish storytelling tradition owes a lot both to herself and the community of people who have kept this underground stream bubbling for the past twenty-five years.

To finish, I ask Nuala about her hopes for the future of storytelling in Ireland. To answer my question, Nuala explains that many storytellers have collected a wealth of documents, videos and other materials. In addition, the National Folklore Collection at University College Dublin houses many records relating to the oral tradition. Nuala would love to see the establishment of an all-Ireland center where all these materials can reside. Perhaps it could act as a place where the stories of our past guide our future.”

To the story above, I’ll add a few comments of my own>

The first is that I actually HAVE kissed the blarney stone, which I did on a family trip to the Emerald Isle in 1999.


A few years after that, I was promoted and transferred to Wisconsin. Since I was now a new manager, I thought it would be wise to join a Toastmasters club, and I continued to participate for  nearly 25 years. I competed in LOT of speech contests, and won my share of trophies and awards, and the experience of participating has been beneficial in more ways than I can count.

The next step in the process happened when I sold a Nissan Armada to a young woman in Evanston in 2009. Although she made a living as a parole officer, she also published stories online on her blog:

https://houseonahillorg.blogspot.com/

She added a few stories of mine to her blog, but quickly decided to start a blog of my own, which I did in 2009.Since the first article was published, I have added nearly 700 more, and I actually got a check from Google a few years back.

I’m too old to make a return trip to Ireland, but I try to keep the tradition alive by putting down a few thoughts whenever an idea pops into my head. I’ll send the latest story to a few of my relatives, and I generally post them on Facebook as well.

If he were still alive, I’m pretty sure that uncle Clem would approve.

 

 

 

 

 

 


Tuesday, March 19, 2024

why being different is a good thing

 

DEI is an abbreviation for “diversity, equity, and inclusion”, and it is not welcomed by today’s conservatives. Florida governor Ron DeSantis signed a bill in the spring of 2023 that banned “diversity, equity, and inclusion” initiatives in public colleges.

 

This effort is part of DeSantis' larger work to crack down on what he calls "woke indoctrination" in schools. In the last two years, state education officials have rejected dozens of mathematics and social studies textbooks for students in K-12 schools.

 

Texas has been working on a similar bill banning DEI programs in its own state university system.

 

DeSantis and Texas governor Greg Abbott would be horrified at the educational system in Arizona.

Only one of the high schools in the Tucson school district is more than 50% white. Three of them are more than 80% Hispanic. Catalina high school has a student population that has more than 20 different first languages, and many of them are from Africa.

Our grandson is the ONLY Caucasian in his kindergarten class – and his maternal grandmother was born in Mexico.

https://www.npr.org/2023/05/15/1176210007/florida-ron-desantis-dei-ban-diversity

If you went back in time, you will discover that our Founding Fathers were very much in favor of having from different backgrounds living here, which is why our country’s unofficial motto has long been “E pluribus unum”.

E pluribus unum  "Out of many, one (also translated as "One out of many" or "One from many" – is a traditional motto of the United States, appearing on the Great Seal along with Annuit cœptis (Latin for "he approves the undertaking [lit. 'things undertaken']") and Novus ordo seclorum (Latin for "New order of the ages") which appear on the reverse of the Great Seal; its inclusion on the seal was suggested by Pierre Eugene du Simitiere and approved in an act of the Congress of the Confederation in 1782.

The first word of E pluribus unum is actually an abbreviation of the Latin preposition ex, meaning "out of." While its status as national motto was for many years unofficial, E pluribus unum was still considered the de facto motto of the United States from its early history. Eventually, the U.S. Congress passed an act in 1956 (H. J. Resolution 396), adopting "In God We Trust" as the official motto.

That the phrase "E pluribus unum" has thirteen letters makes its use symbolic of the original Thirteen Colonies which rebelled against the rule of the Kingdom of Great Britain and became the first thirteen states, represented today as the thirteen stripes on the American flag.

 

In the 1950’s, the United States was in the middle of a cold war with Russia. America during the McCarthy era of 1950 to 1954 was terrified of all those “Godless commies”, which resulted in the Hollywood black list and many ruined lives.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E_pluribus_unum

Since “In God we trust” was on U.S. currency as early as 1864, making the phrase our official motto make sense. The phrase was added to the national anthem in 1954.

https://allthatsinteresting.com/in-god-we-trust

America has long been considered to be a “melting pot”, which is exactly why our country has been successful. Almost from its beginning, though, people of differing backgrounds have not always been welcomed here.

 


Columnist E.J. Montini posted a column about diversity this morning. I have printed it below in its entirety:

https://www.azcentral.com/story/opinion/op-ed/ej-montini/2024/03/18/wendy-rogers-calls-diversity-rot/73013796007/

******************************************************************

Most of us aren’t business analysts, but I’d guess if I were to ask you if a company like, say, Google, was successful, you’d say yes.

And if I was to ask the same thing about Nike or Apple or Dell Technologies or Intel or JP Morgan Chase Bank or TD Bank or General Mills or Home Depot or American Express or Progressive Insurance, you would say yes again.

And you’d be correct.

Now, what if I told you that one of the attributes that makes these companies what they are, one of the things about which they are most proud, was described by Republican Arizona state Sen. Wendy Rogers as “rot”?

It’s their diversity.

According to Forbes Magazine, the businesses listed above are among the 100 best employers in America for diversity.

Rogers apparently hates the thought of that.

She and fellow Republicans are among those supporting House Concurrent Resolution 2056, an attempt to get Arizona voters to end the pursuit of a diverse workforce within state government.

In a hearing last week, Rogers said in part that an “obsession with diversity” has “created a rot in our military and industry, in education, in aviation … .”

I’d guess that the very successful companies listed above, among many, many others, might disagree.

However, a person could argue that there is a rot in a political party in which one of its elected officials praises a white nationalist, as Rogers has done several times with Nick Fuentes.

Or when that same elected official talks of being honored by the endorsement of a notorious antisemite like Andrew Torba, which Rogers also has done.

Or when that same state senator suggests on right-wing social media that the racist who killed 10 people in a supermarket in Buffalo, N.Y., might have been part of a federal conspiracy, saying on the site Telegram, “Fed boy summer has started in Buffalo.”

Or when this same election-denying, conspiracy-spreading politician suggested that her political opponents should be hanged.

There are several Arizona companies mentioned in the Forbes list, as well as in a similar list published by Newsweek, which noted Arizona Public Service, Arizona State University, Honor Health and Microchip Technology.

The fact that these businesses are diverse means there are individuals working there of different ages, races, genders, sexual orientation, religious beliefs and ethnicities.

Look around. Look in the mirror.

The “rot” that Rogers vilifies and reviles is … you.

 

 

As a general rule, states that have a more diverse population are more open-minded about things, which means they also would be considered to be “liberal”. They also are states that are better educated and less religious than other states.

In order, the states that are the most educated are Massachusetts, Maryland, Colorado, Vermont, and Connecticut. If you view them on the Cook Partisan Viewing Index, you’ll notice that they are all “Blue” states.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cook_Partisan_Voting_Index

https://wallethub.com/edu/e/most-educated-states/31075

The states that are the least educated (starting from the bottom) are Mississippi, West Virginia, Louisiana, Arkansas, and Alabama. Not surprisingly, they are all “red” states. They also happen to be the most religious states, which is why Donald Trump did well in those states. In 2016, he captured 81% of the evangelical vote. Even today, there are still people in those states who think that Trump was sent by God.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2016/02/29/how-religious-is-your-state/?state=alabama

Although it’s always important to vote, all we can really do to keep our country on track is to diplomatically try to educate the people in our society are less educated. – which is not an easy task. In addition, if you become aware of pending legislation in your state that is trying to limit diversity, let your legislators know that it is not a good idea.